Six Degrees of…Utter Madness !!!!!

Remember the “Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon” game? You know, how many degrees of separation exist between any film celebrity you can name and Kevin Bacon (or some other actor via Kevin Bacon), who once jokingly claimed to have worked with everyone in Hollywood? Rarely could you get more than six people distant, and it probably works with any actor or other folks involved in films, I’d guess. For example:

Michelle Pfeiffer to Julia Ormond (via Kevin Bacon)

1. Pfeiffer to Jack Nicholson in “The Witches of Eastwick”
2. Nicholson to Kevin Bacon in “A Few Good Men”
3. Bacon to Brad Pitt in “Sleepers”
4. Pitt to Julia Ormond in “Legends of the Fall”

Linked in four degrees

If you have ever had a child with any level of serious curiosity about life and the kind of focus normally only seen in butterflies with ADHD (in other words, 90+% of kids) or spent plenty of time around a much younger relative, you will know that every topic has only a few degrees of separation from any other topic, no matter how illogical it might seem to leap from one to the other, and the speed with which the topic changes can be dizzying.

For example, Pisces to flying cars via my daughter.

In the car last week, my daughter asked about Pisces.

This led to a discussion of the Zodiac and astrology…

…which led to a discussion of adoption and child abandonment (“What if a child is adopted, Daddy? They wouldn’t know the birthday to know what animal sign the baby was”)

…which led to me barely avoiding the still-too-early in my opinion “birds-and-bees” discussion, dodged by me simply clarifying that a man and a woman are needed for a baby to be made, but only the mommy needs to be present for birth (“Daddy, how could a girl have a baby if the boy wasn’t there”)

…which led to discussion of early human-like hominids/proto-people/cavemen, with dashes of evolution tossed in plus speculation on how fire was “discovered.” (“Daddy, the whole deal with cavemen was that they spent their time looking for fire or trying to make it, right?”)

…which led to a discussion of extinction followed immediately by advanced genomics and possible future cloning technology (“So scientists could have a person’s hair maybe and make a person from that? Like in ‘Spongebob?’ Or create a polar bear, which are going to be extinct soon, right?”)

…leading to a discussion of hovercraft and the fact we could make flying cars, but why it would be a really bad idea if most people were allowed to operate such vehicles (“Daddy, won’t it be cool when we can have flying cars and floating schools?”)

So that’s what…six degrees of separation (more or less) between an astrological sign and advanced transportation technology?

In any case, while I’m glad to have filled my daughter’s head with a combination of useful knowledge, trivia and a number of things that she will immediately forget about and ask me to explain again soon, this meant some 60 minutes or more (while driving mostly) of nearly non-stop talking on my part. By the time we got home from the errand we ran, I was literally lightheaded.

Moral of the story: If you can’t handle a police interrogation or intense job interview, do not have a child.

About Deacon Blue

Self-employed in a form of writing far less lucrative that what Stephen King or John Grisham does. Live in the U.S. and simultaneously love it, fear it, admire it and am dissappointed by it. I'm a Christian but my politics are "progressive" (a term which has as much meaning as "alternative rock," of which I am also a fan). I also believe in a nice cold pint of ale or beer (or two or three pints), I play computer games in which I do things I would never do in real life, I think Pulp Fiction is one of the best films ever made, I support socialized healthcare and a place for the death penalty, I consider my wife an equal partner, I speak to my kids rather than hitting them, I believe in the power of science as much as I do the power of faith, I think society is terribly slanted toward the rich and against everyone else, I think the justice system messes with minorities, and I think that using instant replays in officiating professional sports is a damned fool thing to do.

Posted on March 20, 2013, in Conversations with my daughter, Reverencing the little goddess, Tormented by the little goddess and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. <.< I'm still like that. You'd be amazed at the things I connect in my mind. But then, I'm diagnosed with ADD, so I guess that makes sense.

  2. I can appreciate making odd connections, since I do that myself sometimes…well, a lot of the time. I just think I need some conversational version of cardio training or I’m going to keel over from one of my daughter’s uber-convos/interrogations.

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